Nurturing your child’s mother-tongue

It is often said that charity begins at home, meaning that our earliest values, morals, and identity are shaped within the family. In a similar way, language—one of the strongest carriers of history and memory—begins at home as well. It is through language that we pass on stories, beliefs, humour, wisdom, and the worldview of our people. When a mother-tongue fades, it is not just words that disappear, but entire cultural experiences and ancestral connections. Preserving our language, therefore, is preserving our identity.

For many parents living abroad, teaching children their native language and cultural values can feel like an uphill battle. Children are naturally immersed in the culture of their host country—through school, media, friends, and social systems. This exposure often leads them to associate the foreign culture with advancement, security, and modernity. In contrast, their parents’ culture may appear distant, outdated, or irrelevant to their daily lives.

Because of this contrast, many parents worry that they are failing to pass on their heritage. Some feel a deep sense of guilt or loss when their children struggle to speak their mother-tongue fluently. Tensions may arise when grandparents, who often embody tradition most strongly, cannot communicate with their grandchildren. In many cultures, this is more than a communication gap; it is seen as a break in lineage, a disconnection from family honour, and in some cases, almost a cultural taboo.

The central challenge becomes: How do you convince a child, who witnesses the many socioeconomic advantages of a foreign land, that their mother-tongue and heritage are still essential parts of their identity?

This is particularly difficult because today’s children are highly perceptive and well-informed. Through technology, social media, and global exposure, they develop the ability to compare cultures far more quickly than previous generations. They notice differences in infrastructure, education, career opportunities, governance, and lifestyle. They are aware of what works and what does not. In many cases, they may question why they should embrace cultural practices or languages that seem less advantageous in their immediate surroundings.

Simply telling them to be proud of their culture is no longer enough. Words must be backed by meaningful experiences.

Take Nigerian families in the UK or the US, for example. Many parents find it challenging to teach their children languages such as Yoruba, Igbo, or Hausa. They struggle to help their children appreciate cultural greetings, traditional respect for elders, communal values, and behavioural expectations that differ from the Western norm.

Convincing a child raised in London, Manchester, Houston, or New York that their native language “is important” can feel like a full-time job.

The truth is, knowing one’s mother-tongue is far more than a cultural obligation. It builds a strong sense of identity, belonging, and pride. Research consistently shows that bilingual or multilingual children: develop stronger cognitive flexibility; show higher emotional intelligence; adapt better in multicultural environments and communicate more effectively across differences.

These are not just benefits for cultural pride; they are life and career advantages.

Moreover, children who speak both the language of their parents and the language of their host country often grow into more empathetic individuals. They understand how different communities think. They learn to appreciate multiple perspectives, which is a valuable skill in leadership, diplomacy, and global citizenship.

Yet, preserving culture is not solely the responsibility of families. Our homelands must also give younger generations something meaningful to hold onto. When a country struggles, it becomes harder for its diaspora children to feel a sense of pride or belonging. They compare realities, and they form conclusions.

Therefore, cultural preservation must go hand-in-hand with national development. A nation must remain a source of pride, identity, and aspiration—otherwise the emotional connection weakens across generations.

Despite all these challenges, many families across the world continue to make extraordinary efforts. They organise cultural events, teach their children traditional dances, cook native dishes, share proverbs, celebrate festivals, and speak their mother-tongue at home. They tell stories of where they came from, hoping to plant seeds of identity that will grow with time.

Each parent who insists on passing down their language is preserving a piece of their lineage. Each child who learns even a few words of their mother-tongue is carrying forward a legacy.

Cultural preservation is not about perfection—it is about continuity.

In a rapidly changing world, maintaining that continuity becomes an act of love, resilience, and generational strength.

Shakirat Hassan Ibrahim is a communications professional with over 16 years of experience in journalism, Translation, and Arabic Interpretation. She can be reached at [email protected]

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