Thirty is Not a Deadline – A review of Isioma Isiekwe’s The Woman You Didn’t See Coming

Title: The Woman You Didn’t See Coming

Author: Isioma Isiekwe

Year of Publication: 2025

Number of Pages: 133

Category: Self Help

There is something about turning 30 that no one fully prepares you for. If you have crossed that line, you probably understand the feeling all too well. Suddenly, you begin to measure your life against the plans you once made. Achievements feel delayed, timelines feel off, and for many women especially unmarried ones, life starts to feel uncomfortably serious.

Isioma Isiekwe’s The Woman You Didn’t See Coming does the unexpected. Instead of amplifying that anxiety, it softens it. Many books have addressed the “turning 30” conversation, but this one stands out because Isioma writes from lived experience. Her advice does not feel recycled; it is deeply personal, drawn from seasons she has actually walked through.

Still, her message is not without tension. Isioma believes you can truly enjoy your life while waiting for love, clarity, purpose, or the next big breakthrough. But is it really that easy? Especially when reality, culture, and societal expectations are constantly pressing in?

Interestingly, the book cover tells its own story. The woman on the cover does not look like someone breezing through her thirties. Her expression is heavy, almost defeated, as though she is carrying the weight of unanswered questions. The bright yellow background tries to lift the mood, but the contrast feels intentional mirroring the internal conflict many women experience at this stage of life.

This is the kind of book you can read in one sitting and immediately feel compelled to take action but it is not a book you should rush. It asks you to pause, reflect, and sit with uncomfortable truths. Depending on where you live, some of the advice may feel aspirational rather than straightforward. In a place like Nigeria, where aunties and uncles feel entitled to your life decisions, living unapologetically can feel especially challenging. Yet Isioma insists it is possible if you are willing to be firm, intentional, and honest with yourself.

Within the pages, you encounter truths that feel both familiar and unfamiliar. Some ideas you may have heard before, others may challenge how you see yourself. For readers short on time, the author thoughtfully includes recaps at the end of each section, making it easy to grasp the core message without feeling overwhelmed.

You may think you are tired of hearing the same conversations about purpose, patience, and waiting but this book offers reassurance rather than noise. It gently gives you the drive to live again.

What makes this book truly powerful is how seen it makes you feel. Page after page, you realise that someone understands the quiet fears you do not always voice. You stop feeling alone. Sometimes you find yourself nodding as you read, because the author hits deep naming thoughts you have carried silently for years.

If you have been feeling some sort of way about your life, this book reminds you that Isioma once felt the same way too. The difference is that she has moved past that phase and now wants you to do the same. That said, if you are not ready to upgrade your life, it may be best to put this book down. Isioma does not just offer comfort; she offers practical steps that will push you to confront yourself and take responsibility.

Written with empathy, the book is bound to spark conversations among women about singleness, societal pressure, and that unserious look people give you simply because you are unmarried. By the end, you feel motivated to do more with your life instead of waiting endlessly for a prince charming.

By the end, you understand this truth clearly: turning 30, 40, or even 50 while unmarried is not a curse, it can be a blessing. And when you finally step into your growth, no one will see the new you coming.

About the reviewer

Titilade Oyemade is a business executive in a leading organisation and holds a degree in Russian Language. She’s the convener of the Hangoutwithtee Ladies Event and the Publisher of Hangoutwithtee magazine. She spends her weekends attending women conferences, events and book readings. She loves to have fun and to help other women have the same in their lives. Email: [email protected] Social: @tiipreeofficial

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