Mariam Timmer From Reel to Real Life

On television, she’s lively, playful, and ready for drama. Off camera, Mariam Timmer is equally captivating, a housewife whose life, work, and wisdom go far beyond the spotlight. In a recent encounter, The Real Housewives of Lagos star tells Vanessa Obioha about her journey to reality TV

Hello, everybody.”

Those were the bubbly words of Mariam Timmer, the PR expert and entrepreneur, as she waltzed into the set where Chioma Ikokwu was hosting a pyjama party for the housewives and their friends in Abuja. Episode five of the first season of The Real Housewives of Lagos (RHOL) would mark the first time viewers saw her interact with the rest of the cast. In the previous episode, she briefly appeared during her former friend Toyin Lawani’s 40th birthday photoshoot, but it was episode five that truly introduced Mariam’s playful, lively, and never shy of drama persona.

Three seasons later, Mariam remains a source of entertainment. Whether she is teasing her fellow housewives or giving “energy for energy,” her infectious demeanour is impossible to ignore.

In person, she is no different. One recent afternoon in a café in Ikoyi, dressed in white and radiating her signature cheerfulness, Mariam was candid, humorous as she fielded questions viewers have long wanted answers to.

Her friendship with Toyin following their fallout in season 2?

“I’ve forgiven her. I want the best for her, but I just don’t want to be her friend anymore.”

Her struggle with fertility?

“It was a deliberate choice to discuss it on the show because a lot of people are going through this, but our culture does not allow them to speak up. The girls found out about it on the show.”

The storyline was cut off when it was discovered that she had thyroid issues.

“Am I still gonna try? Yes. Is it top of my priority? No. The process can be emotionally and mentally depressing, and I don’t want to fall back into depression and lose myself. If God wants to give me only one child, it’s fine. He should give me money, peace of mind and the help to train this child. I don’t want to be in a situation where I miss out on the life of my first child because I’m trying to have another child.”

When the topic shifted to her marriage to John Henry Timmer, her tone softened.

“I have one of the best marriages out there.”

This December marks their 10th anniversary. Ideally, they would have celebrated in Marrakech with 30 couples renewing their vows, but schedules didn’t align. For now, a vow renewal in Vegas in the summer of 2026 will do.

“It is the thought that counts.”

Beyond her personal life, Mariam continues to expand her footprint across the Real Housewives universe. Recently, she appeared in the first continental iteration of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip Africa, becoming the only RHOL cast member selected. When the call came in during season three filming, she initially dismissed it as a scam.

“Because The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip Africa has never been done before. Only South Africa.”

Her doubts vanished once producers confirmed the project.  The show premiered on Showmax last Friday.

“I have always wanted to do the Ultimate Girls Trip,” she said. “It was part of the things I prophesied for the year. I told myself that I don’t know how they are going to do it, but Showmax has to do either the Ultimate Girls Trip Nigeria or globally, and I have to be part of it.”

The Ultimate Girls Trip, introduced in 2021, is a spinoff of The Real Housewives franchise. It brings housewives from various cities together for a luxurious, drama-filled getaway.

For the Africa iteration, Mariam and Princess Jecoco from The Real Housewives of Abuja represented Nigeria. Other featured housewives from the continent include Annie Mthembu, Angel Ndlela and Jojo Robinson from The Real Housewives of Durban; Madam Evodia Mogase and Christall Kay from The Real Housewives of Johannesburg; and from The Real Housewives of Nairobi are Dr. Catherine Masitsa, known as Dr C, and Zena Nyambu.

Their glamorous adventure took them to Brazil — Mariam’s first time in the country. It was also the first time she was meeting other housemates apart from Jojo. They met during the South African premiere of RHOL.

“Others, I have not really watched their show.”

However, most of them knew her from RHOL.

“They know me, so when I got into the scene, nobody really wanted to do drama with me because they know me, I don’t look for trouble, but if you look for mine, I will give it to you,”  she said, laughing.

Even so, at least one cast member later admitted they expected a fight with her but ended up liking her.

“I’m a very nice person. But what you see on TV, you think that’s who I am as a whole. Is that who I am? Absolutely! I’m not hiding that. Ninety-nine per cent of me. I’m a happy person. I’m alive. You can’t be around me and be sad.”

Still, Mariam has her low moments. Being the friend people lean on can be draining.

“I’m the kind of person that people dump their emotions on because I’m always happy, people don’t feel the need to ask me if I’m okay. When I get overstimulated, I just cut off everybody and be on my own. I need my space.”

Sometimes, she said, even expressing her feelings isn’t enough.

“People don’t validate it because I always care for everybody else.”

Away from the spotlight, Mariam’s life story reveals a woman shaped by grit and independence. Born on December 21, 1986 and raised by her mother after her parents separated early, she developed a strong entrepreneurial spirit. She began working at 19 and continued through her years studying Political Science at the University of Abuja. “Not that I have to because an allowance was coming in every week.”

She later earned another degree in Public Relations and Political Science from the National Open University, along with certifications in accountancy, digital media marketing, and more. In the United States, she qualified as a certified nurse assistant and BLS provider.

Her business interests reflect her versatility: a PR firm (Six Sixteen Agency Limited), a beauty brand (LURÉ), and ventures in oil and gas. She also runs the Nova Pearl Initiative, launched in Los Angeles in 2022 to encourage Nigerians and Africans in the diaspora to make a meaningful impact back home.

Before RHOL, she served as a judge at various beauty and fashion events and appeared on the TV show Gidi Culture. But RHOL transformed her visibility. Sometimes her voice alone gives her away in public.

A longtime fan of reality TV, Mariam recalled her mother’s playful warning that she might one day become like the Kardashians. She laughed it off then. Fate had other plans.

RHOL, she said, has helped her embrace herself fully.

“From the show, I was able to embrace who I am as a person. Obviously, we all have flaws, and one of the flaws I thought I had was speaking very fast. But I don’t want people to focus on how fast I talk, but on my message,” she explained.

“At some point, I had to embrace myself, like this is who you are. Just take it. The show allowed me to reflect on who I am as a person and how I speak and how I behave as well, because sometimes you see what you see, you might not like everything.”

Upon reflection, Mariam said she has little or no regrets for her actions on the show.

“Do I regret some of my actions? I would say probably like 1%, because I try not to dwell on the things that are gone. I believe in moving forward, and those mistakes have brought me to where I am today. And can we all improve in our lives? Can I improve? Absolutely!”

When discussing cast dynamics, Mariam was clear: consistency matters.

“Cast coming and leaving is not good for the show. Let’s be clear. People want consistency. People want to see the same people and see how they evolve over the seasons. I want cast members to come and stay. In season 3 of RHOL, I intentionally took a step back for the new cast members, and I supported all of them until towards the end.”

The show, she added, can be overwhelming — alliances, conflicts, and personalities all in constant flux.

“But I tried as much as possible to give them time to shine, because I know my personality can be very overwhelming as well. When I start talking, I can overpower people’s voices. So I tried. It was a conscious effort.”

While she may not be friends with many of the housewives, she disclosed that she respects and admires Iyabo Ojo and found a sister in Sophia Momodu.

RHOL to Mariam is more than just fame. It is a job. “I don’t see this as a pastime. It’s my job. I get paid for it. I don’t do anything that I don’t like. I take the job seriously, and I don’t think I have any issues with the Showmax team.”

Showmax PR Manager Jennifer Ukoh-Osamwonyi, who joined our conversation briefly, affirmed this: “She is always efficient. Responds quickly to messages.”

“I just love my job, and I hope the project will last. Because whether we like it or not,  we set something on the map being the first in  Lagos to do it, and that’s why I don’t want to quit a show like that. If I had to quit, it has to do something greater, or it is affecting my livelihood,” said Mariam.

Looking back, she credits her secondary school, Mayflower School, for shaping her resilience. Leaving a comfortable home for a school that stripped away such comforts strengthened her, she said.

“Mayflower shaped my work ethics, persistence and self-reliance. I didn’t know how smart I was until I attended that school. It literally prepared me for life.”